How to search Anuroop Wiwaha Jodidar
Marriage holds a lot of importance in the overall Indian social structure. In our society, marriage is not just a matter between two individuals but also an important social event that involves two families and extends beyond that. Still, unless there is an unavoidable situation at home that 'this year it’s a duty', we generally don’t even have serious discussions about marriage.
On one hand, arranged marriages are decided. On the other hand, young men often mistake attraction for love, leading to marriages, which worries parents and society. The younger generation, especially girls, don't seem satisfied with the traditional way of getting married through a 'meeting' event. They wonder how one can decide to spend a lifetime together after just a 15 to 20-minute meeting: it's a valid question. On the other hand, there's also the traditional question of whether falling in love sometimes leads to making the wrong choice.
While society was at such a volatile stage, in 2012 the Maharashtra Anti-Superstition Committee started the initiative 'Rational Selection of a Partner'. Dr. Narendra Dabholkar raised some fundamental points regarding partner selection. These are
- Understanding the difference between love and attraction
- Looking at the intellectual, emotional, and value alignment of each other
- Saying no to dowry, Patrika and addictions
- Getting married simply (without taking any loans)
- Checking the possibility of inter-caste and inter-religion (caste-religion secular) marriage
The idea here is that choosing a partner is a process to be done more thoughtfully, without just riding the emotional wave, getting caught up in physical beauty, or only thinking about material wealth. 'Conversation' is the core of this initiative, and it emphasizes that this conversation should happen on three levels.
2. What should be verify before selecting Marathi Vadhu Var for Anuroop Wiwaha
Conversations with whom? First, a dialogue with oneself, second, a conversation with the family, and third, a talk with the prospective partner. Each of these conversations should be honest and transparent. The conversation with oneself helps understand one's own personality. Continuous and patient dialogue with the family brings clarity about one’s thoughts on the partner, opinions on marriage practices, and responsibilities in cohabitation, along with how prepared one is for it. Then, from the conversation with the expected partner, you can figure out if you are compatible with each other.
In fact, not only for choosing a partner but for every relationship, it's important to have specific training to develop it healthily. There are such training methods and individuals available in changing times. We should make full use of that. It's not necessary to learn by making mistakes every time. Getting married is like jumping into a well (if it's a love marriage, you take the plunge yourself, but in an arranged marriage, your family might have pushed you in, you could say!). So instead of relying on the naive belief that you'll learn to swim after falling into the water, it's always better to get swimming lessons before you jump in. 'Wise partner selection' is a training initiative aimed at guiding you towards greater perfection in the realm of partner choice.
3. How to search good quality in Marathi Vadhu Var for Anuroop Wiwaha
How to choose a partner, this training is like the chart of human qualities we've created. On one hand, rejecting the astrological chart that doesn't stand the test of science, we've made a modern chart of human qualities as an alternative. It includes relevant and necessary elements about choosing a partner.
In changing times, young men and women should understand the importance of mutual consent in choosing a partner, their ability to handle the physical, mental, and family responsibilities that come after marriage, their likes and dislikes, personality, physical, mental, financial and emotional stability, personal and family outlooks, and their perspectives on future dreams.
When it comes to marriage, one should clearly reject addictions, dowry demands, and horoscope checking, and insist on keeping things simple. While doing all this, it’s important to ensure that no one is being deceived, to understand each other’s current health status, so that future care or treatment can be arranged accordingly, and a happy married life can be achieved. Although some people have accepted the idea of both the boy and girl getting health checks before deciding on marriage, it should be universally accepted and implemented. These health checks are not just to detect HIV or sexually transmitted diseases, but they are important for understanding overall health conditions and leading a conscious and healthy life together.
Going beyond all this, after marriage, the life that the two of them want to lead with both families should not just be a household but should be a nurturing companionship that celebrates each other's emotional lives, and for that, there must be genuine equality. It's important to recognize each individual's personality and personal space within both families, and there should be communication and equality on the levels of thought, decision, and action.
Aarti, Mahendra, Sachin, Nisha, and Diksha have conducted over 40 'dialogue Karyashala' for engaged youngsters and their parents across Maharashtra. Recognizing the need for this initiative in society, the Maharashtra Anti-Superstition Committee is launching a state-wide youth campaign called 'A Thoughtful Choice of Partner', engaging with young couples and their parents from January 12 - National Youth Day to February 14 - International Love Day this year. The campaign will conclude on February 14 in Aurangabad. Of course, even after this special campaign ends, the ongoing dialogue with 'engaged youngsters and their parents' will continue to thrive.
4. Information that can be easily verified
Age:
Maharashtrian community always ask about the age of Vadhu and Var. Sometimes, lying about the age can lead to a lot of problems later on. That's why checking the age proof before marriage becomes essential.
Face and body structure:
Make sure that the person you are going to marry is indeed the one. Also, check that there are no false changes in the appearance of the face and body due to cosmetics, clothing, or other makeup. You should find out if there's a difference between the person in the photos sent while arranging the marriage and the actual person you see. Nowadays, photos can be drastically altered using computers.
Complexion and weight:
Your life partner's complexion and weight should be matching and look good. Don't have unrealistic expectations about this.
Physical ability:
Everyone has a different capacity to endure physical discomfort. Many have a strong desire to take care of their body through exercise and diet. Such people are quite strict about exercise and diet. You should find out if your life partner is supportive on this.
Height:
The belief is that a husband should be taller than his wife according to social trends. Instead of physical height, it's more important to focus on how well they coordinate with each other.
Vision and hearing ability:
My wife should be like a deer; it's very important to know if she has any eyesight issues. Because of wearing contact lenses, many times the fact that she wears glasses doesn't come to notice. Similarly, any problems in hearing are concealed. One should clearly ask their prospective partner about their eyesight and hearing ability. If there are any flaws, it is important to know how serious they are.
Physical flaws highlighted from the outside:
Many people have some physical disabilities from birth or due to accidents, like having shorter arms or legs, or having a defect in the spine, and it's also worth asking if these defects are hereditary. If needed, you should visit the right medical specialists to get complete information about these defects. By doing thorough research before marriage, issues that may arise later can be resolved.
5. Physical aspects that aren't visible from the outside
Physical illness:
You should give your future partner detailed information about all the physical ailments you've had in your life so far, like tuberculosis, thyroid disorders, heart disease, epilepsy, etc. If you have any ongoing illnesses, these should also be mentioned, and if you are taking any medication, don't keep your partner in the dark about it.
Hopeful surgery:
If you've had surgery for some reason, you should let your partner know why and what the next steps are.
Monthly period:
Many women do not talk about the troubles of their periods and the treatments they are undergoing. It's important to clear any misconceptions about the treatments you're receiving from your gynecologist. Also, it’s good to discuss whether these issues could affect having a baby after marriage.
6. Conclusion
- A suitable partner is a term related to marriage in the Marathi community in Maharashtra, meaning 'The suitable Match'.
- The term Anuroop Wiwaha is generally used in the Marathi community to refer to finding a suitable partner for marriage.
- The idea of a compatible partner is important in Marathi-speaking culture, where a blend of values, culture, and backgrounds is expected in marital relationships.
